I Kissed Lolo Farewell

When I entered the ICU and saw him laying on the hospital bed, I thought he was just sleeping.  I looked at the ECG and there were numbers  and zigzag lines displaying on it, to be honest I really don't know what those numbers mean, all I know  that those zigzag lines indicates that he is still alive.  Few minutes later a priest came in  and gave him a last rites.  I looked back on the machine and the number went up from 77 to 102.   "He's alive, thank God.", I said to myself.    Minutes later the line went straight and the numbers were gone.  The doctor went in and checked him again.  The nurse outside the room gave a piece of paper to the one who was checking his heartbeat.  "Time of death 12:30 noon today."  Tears fell from our eyes when we hear those words.  I thought he was okay... that he'll be fine and be home after a day or a week...My uncle came in and asked the doctor for an explanation on what cause his death... I was deaf for awhile but there was one thing that the doctor said that I could still remember, "His seven years after his heart bypass surgery was already a bonus for him." 

Seven years... what happened to those seven long years?  I tried to look back on the things that took place seven years ago, and yet I can't remember the last time I hugged him,kissed him and spend more time with him?  I really can't remember...I was so busy with my so called life and forgot to value the people who was with me all through this years.  I was comfortable with the idea that he'll be there in his room resting and would just smile at me when I get in and pay him some respect.  Or he'll go to my lola's (grandmother) room and checked her if she's okay.  Yes, I took him for granted.  I gave him a part of my time and when I should have spend more.  I should have been on his side...

Lolo, 

Sorry...
Sorry for not being there for you.  I was so stupid and selfish.  I'm sorry.  I thought you'll be out after a week like you always do.  I never thought you'll be gone so soon...I'm sorry.  If I could only bring back the time and spend it with you, I'll do it.

It's so stupid to think that during your wake I found time but when you are still alive I was not there beside you.

I'm sorry...